Have you ever walked by a cemetery and wished that all of the dead people could talk to you…or if not speak, at least assail you with unsolicited texts? Well, now they can! A new high-tech device launched by Objects LLC called Personal RosettaStones enables consumers to purchase small stone tablets that can store up to 1,000 words and a photo.
Before passing into the Great Beyond, a person can write a message on the Personal RosettaStone, such as “I’ve been buried alive! Call the police!”, the message is stored on a microchip and then can be transmitted in the form of a text message to anyone who has a web-enabled cell phone within the device’s range.
Personal RosettaStones also comes with personalized hieroglyphic-style Life Symbols that are selected during the ordering process. These symbols are engraved on the front of the RosettaStone and are designed to reflect any significant milestones or events that would be directly associated with the earthly experiences of the dearly departed.
Objects LLC also claims that Personal RosettaStones can send messages for an incredible 3,200 years! This is accomplished using microchips that utilize the magnetic fields of the cell phones the device detects in lieu of conventional batteries. The Personal RosettaStone then powers up long enough to haunt, er, send a preprogrammed text, then it powers down to a sleep state. This ingenious method will guarantee that your children, your grandchildren, and every relative from now until the early half of the 5000’s gets Uncle Bernie’s eternal message of, “Hey there, my name is Bernie. I sold Whole Life Insurance. Do you mind turning on the lights? It’s dark in here.”
While the idea of a texting gravestone might seem creepy, Objects LLC reports that they have been flooded with inquiries since publicizing the concept. With technology playing a more prominent role in the funeral industry, such as funeral webcasts (funerals you can attend in your pajamas, perfect!), and with the advancement of self-promotion social sites like Twitter and Facebook, the next natural step in the evolution of communication seems to be messages from beyond the grave…or directly from the gravestone, as it were.
Personal RosettaStone could serve as a unique and novel way to remember loved ones, but it could also serve as a way to break-up a total stranger’s somber visit to a dead relatives graveside as their cell phone chirps with a message from a neighboring grave, “Could you back up…you’re standing on my head. Thank you!”